Friday, June 17, 2011

Things We've Already Heard Too Much Of

Or maybe "things of which we've already heard too much", but the freedom to write that way is what we fought the grammar Nazis over back in WWII. I picture a grammar-Nazi blitzkrieg to be tanks and dive bombers relentlessly correcting us on split infinitives and prepositional phrases. But let's not get off topic:

1) Pippa Middleton. What's more boring than a British royal? How about the "not all that hot" sister of a British royal? Britain has produced many women far hotter (see, Hurley, Elizabeth), who actually do something worth being famous for (like modelling! I don't count Hurley's "acting"). And naming their women things like "Pippa" (or their men "Nigel", "Rupert", or "Basil" for that matter) just makes you wonder how the British held their own against Hitler.

2) Groupon. Folks, it's a coupon! Stop forming clubs around it! You know what the Chinese are doing while we're forming Groupon Clubs? They're forming clubs with which to hit us with when we don't work hard enough in their salt mines when they take over.

3) How LeBron James betrayed Cleveland. Hey Cleveland--the only reason any of you still live there is because you had no where else to go. Don't blame the guy for doing what you all wish you could.

4) The Redskins "next big season". Of course, with the NFL strike, that could be years off. Oh, who am I kidding--it'll be years off anyway! The Redskins are doomed to suck forever, or at least until Dan "I'm Really Half Plant" Snyder sells the team or hangs himself in the shower.

5) Airline fee complaints. Let's face it--airlines are going to do everything "a la carte" these days, which means you can save a bit if you choose not to order a soda on the plane, or have a blanket, or check your bag, or order by phone--but it's either this or ticket prices going up. At least this way you have SOME autonomy.

6) Israel. Not talk about Israel per se, but why this becomes such a key foreign policy point in American politics. We don't concern ourselves so much with the foreign policy of South Korea, Colombia or Brazil, each of which have much more worldwide impact for the U.S. But you'll hear serious presidential contenders actually talk about aligning our foreign policies to meet those of Israels. Folks--it's just another country.

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