Often, people wonder why I hate nature and all things that make up nature. This is a good example of why. A woman is snorkeling off the coast of India, and gets killed by a massive saltwater crocodile. If those goddam mini-dinosaurs aren't endangered, then I suggest we go and endanger 'em!
It also proves my point that India is one serious f-ed up country, between sectarian violence, extreme poverty, disease, 130 degree heat, and horrible, horrible creatures that do nothing except kill people. Up yours, crocodiles! There's no way I'm going into any jungle (or seashore, apparently) without a team of trained marksmen armed with hand-cannons. We may get taken down, but we'll take as many of you down with us as we can! And if I get swallowed whole I'm going to make sure I have grenades so I can go in epic fashion.
Now, some of you who know me may wonder "hey Brando, you always seemed fond of alligators, why the crocodile hate?" To me, they're very distinct animals:
1) Alligators are smaller, less aggressive, shorter and rounder snouts, and make great pets if you really get tired of damn neighbor kids on your lawn.
2) Crocodiles are vile, evil creatures that must be wiped out pronto. Don't agree? Then ask yourself, if the crocodiles were running the world, would they be agonizing over the deaths of humans and talking about preserving us as a species? Nope, they wouldn't? Then stop asking.
It must be awful for this woman's family to hear this freaky news. But believe me if I had a daughter and she was all "hey I'm going snorkelling in India!" I think I'd handcuff her to a radiator for a few years.
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