Friday, May 7, 2010

This is Nothing Like HMS Pinafore

Well, let's just say if me and my merry band of musical pirates decide to try and take over a ship, we'll make sure it's not a Russian vessel! Not only do the Russians kill the pirates after apprehending them, but they go ahead and tell the media that the pirates were "released". Yep, released into the fiery bowels of hell!

This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows anything about the Russians. They have suffered countless cruelties over their history, and have been sure to pass on that cruelty to any other group they encounter. They adopted communism because the absolutist monarchy that preceded it wasn't oppressive enough. Terrorists going after Russians seem to always wind up dead, even if it means a lot of hostages get killed in the fallout. Message received--you don't screw with Ivan.

Clearly, these Somali pirates--who probably knew a thing or two about inhuman cruelty themselves, considering the Horn of Africa is like Disneyland for thugs--made a terrible mistake and confused the Russian flag on the ship with that of some more kind and generous country, like Mongolia or Tartarus. But frankly, it's hard to feel sympathetic--piracy isn't exactly one of those victimless crimes, like smoking pot or gambling or punching a mime. Nope, you play in a rough game and you're going to face some pretty bleak ends.


  1. Not only did they kill them, they shot them while on an oil tanker. That's kinda like turning on a light in a room filled with natural gas. You takes your chances when you roll them dice.

    Hopefully the pirates keep making the same mistake and attack more Russian ships. But, I'd like to point out, the U.S. Navy was the first to shoot some Somali pirates in the head. Haven't heard about any American ships being jacked lately, have you? Of course, I can just about count the number of U.S.-flagged merchant ships on my fingers and toes.

  2. Foggy, that's the risk you run when you hijack a tanker. Black gold is no joke!