School Buses Are Destroying America

Let's start with why I hate schoolbuses. I hated riding them as a kid (they were the only way it could take you 40 minutes to get to school which was only ten minutes away. But then, driving a car doesn't involve ambling down every side road and stopping to pick up slow moving kids and making stops every half mile so the driver can yell at us to stop being such little monsters). I hate driving near them as an adult (no one ever says "ah, I'm behind a bus, this is my sweet spot! Be jealous, other drivers!"). And that brings us to my point.

Why do we even have school buses? Every kid should go to a school close enough to walk to. Wait, you say--what about those kids who live too far from any school to be able to walk? To that I say, pish posh! Learn to cultivate the land, farmer boy! School buses are just making you weak. And by extension, our country has gotten weak.

Consider--the first generation to be raised in school buses is the post-WWII generation (the Baby Boomers). As it happens, the Baby Boomers have also caused the decline of America (ballooning regular deficits, wars we somehow can't seem to win, and some terrible, terrible fashion choices). Coincidence? You decide!