Yesterday we discussed how greasers, beatniks, hippies, disco divas, grungers, metrosexuals and hipsters have each at one time been all the rage--and importantly for this unscrupulous businessman, each creating new product marketing opportunities. It is key to determine which cultural group will spring up next, so that I can make fabulous riches faster than you can say "pet rock". (Yes I wish I had been alive at the time so I could have invented that. And no, "pet bucket" isn't going to be the next rage, even though a bucket is just so much more useful than a rock. But that's a debate for another day)
One thing all of the groups mentioned above have in common is that they rebelled against conformity, even while enforcing a sort of conformity within their own group. (Imagine if a group of hippies were sitting around smoking the pots and one of them made the mistake of saying they got tickets to the next Tom Jones concert. They'd have strangled him with his own beads!) The groups also had their "uniforms" and "eating and drinking products". Things to make them stand out from the crowd!
So for this next culturally relevant group, I predict that they will stand out from the crowd by listening to a new form of fusion music which I call "gangsta-jazz" (sort of like Easy-E meets Coltrane), and they'll wear superfluous eyepatches "so as to protect one good eye from bright flashes". They'll also bring back capes, which went out of style when Grover Cleveland was President--seriously, invest heavily in cape manufacturers people!
What will this group eat and drink? They'll eat everything wrapped in a waffle, and the new hip beer will be Shaeffer in a can, with a bit of lemon thrown in. And their politics will be international-nihilist, meaning they just don't care for the new French President.
And what name will this new culturally relevant group go by? My suggestion--"Cape Folks".