St. Patrick's Day

This is one of those days of the year that amateur drinkers with more money than brains tend to ruin good things like beer and bars for the rest of us who have been so good throughout the year to our loved ones. (Our loved ones being beer and bars) St. Patrick's Day, which is commemorated in America but largely forgotten in Ireland, celebrates a Roman missionary who converted the Irish natives to Catholicism, which has had absolutely no negative repercussions during the ensuing couple of thousand years of Irish history. Though there's no indication St. Pat wore green or was a drunkard, Americans have decided to dye their Budweiser green and get to puke-tastic levels in very crowded taverns across the land. That, and keep gays from marching in St. Patrick's Day Parades. Because if there's one thing we don't want to celebrate on this most holiest of holidays, it's immoral behavior.

But while the most douchey of our countrymen (by this I mean Americans) will take this opportunity to celebrate the worst of the Irish stereotypes, the rest of us have other, better options. A private party can be a good thing, as you can keep the food tasty and the beer high quality and not allow in anyone with a popped collar or backwards baseball cap to attend. (Sorry, Chad!) Or you could do what my gang is doing and get together for Mexican drinnks and tacos, where you know it won't be crowded and you can still keep it topical--say, commemorating the San Patricio Battalion in the Mexican War. Though, since that battallion was full of turncoats against the U.S., that might be "too soon".

Anyway, happy St. Pats to you all, and keep it classy!